In His time............................

We had three consecutive holidays and it has been 3 days now since I'm listening to my favourite songs continuously and I'm also surprised why I was not listening to them at all. Thanks to you-tube since I can get whatever I wanted: bhajans, prayers, movie songs. I'm really enjoying it. I'm not seeing anybody in my corridor. Chhanda is also not there and it is all very quite. Earlier I thought that I would also go to Shirdi. But somehow I dropped my plan. I always feel that you can not visit a holy place unless He wants it. He has His own "time-watch" and that is perfect. I could remember another prayer song:
In His time He made all things beautiful........................
I did meditation in the morning after a long time. Oh it seems I really lost touch with myself. I'm feeling very relaxed and happy. After returning from walk, I noticed in the newspaper that today is Easter. I still remember how my friend Kanaga in Kalpakkam used to remain busy during these days. I used to go to church with her sometimes. I always love their prayer songs. Also bhajans of Lord Krishna which were part of satsang in my hometown Karnal. My mother is an ardent devotee of Kripalu ji maharaj and we three sisters used to go to those satsangs with her. Oh I miss those days. I can not compare anything else in this world with those slow bhajans (Radhey Govind......, Bhaj man mere and many more). Unfortunately, they are not there on you tube. I remember how Maharaj ji used to make bhajans on the fly. We used to sit there with our diaries and note down whatever we could. I wish He should bless me with the same innocence again! But everything goes by His time.......................................................
Then I started believing Baba. Life was little harder during that time which made me cling to Him like a child. And anything: any bhajan, any song, any poem, any idea, any incident, any problem, any solution were His ways of guiding me. It was a very different kind of relationship where you have to be alert all the Time. Any mistake from your side may make Him angry. You can not afford to hurt any body. It was a very humbling experience. I used to be very proud of my intelligence :( He told me to rely on His intelligence. My marks started showing that pattern. I started losing where others used to do well, ofcourse easy subjects while my performance in other subjects which I myself didn't understand completely was amazing :) I could easily notice His ways in my life. He knew that my studies were the focus of my life and He took full control of it. I just followed Him since I was very insecure perhaps and did not understand what was happening. He never let me down and I could not leave Him. At that time I never realized it, but today I can say that I'm blessed. Thank you so much Baba..................
God is good.........................................
He gave me everything whatever I wished in spite of all my mistakes/shortcomings. But perhaps last 3-4 years were the most difficult period of my life till now where I lost my father and a number of other disappointments on professional front. But things are coming back into place and I again can clearly see His intervention. I always say that Baba wants His devotees to understand the most important lesson of patience. I say that I always get good things with a delay(which I always relate to His interference in my life:)). Many things are denied to me without any reason and I always get it back with a delay and Arrears attached :)
Yes God I'm ready to wait according to your time...............................